Are you a crumb catcher?

Are you a crumb catcher? Do you make a meal out of crumbs? Does age make the difference?

I just returned from a trip in Boston and had been texting with 1 man (Patrick, 49 years old, divorced father of two children), for about 3+ months and another for about a month from two different dating apps. Both are Bostonians and I had arranged to meet them while I was visiting for work. Both were aware that I had a limited amount of time to meet and we’re willing to accommodate. I found the 33-year-old, Luke (single, never married entrepreneur) more “woke” concerning women’s rights & was happy that he was completely open to treating a woman respectfully as a woman. Being chivalrous (opening the door, not expecting me to make all the plans, not expecting me to go Dutch) and acting like a gentleman are things that endear a man to me. The man who was closer to my age was so drastically different. He insisted (via texts) on calling me nicknames like Lizzie and Betty even though I said that’s not my name, I prefer Elizabeth (yellow flag). He kept saying that he was so looking forward to meeting me and knew in advance the day and time I would be available. He shared pictures of his children and I felt like we were really getting to know one another. The day we were to meet, he calls me in the morning and we make plans. He said he would reach out to me when he was closer to Back Bay as we had planned to meet at 11:30 for lunch as I had to be at the airport before 3 PM to return to NYC. When I didn’t hear from him (yellow flag turning orange) I checked out of my hotel and headed to lunch, solo. I left him several text and phone message. When 11:30am came and went, I reached out to him saying, “please don’t ever contact me again”. He replied, “it’s good we got our first spat out of the way”. (Orange flag turning more Crimson). How can one get a spat “out-of-the-way” when there’s no conversation relating to it? He showed up at the restaurant after 12:30 in a ratty hoodie saying that he’s been playing hockey all morning. (Definitely, a red flag- no effort made in his appearance.) Then, he asked me if I was mad. I replied calmly, “yes of course. I’ve already eaten and I never heard from you.” He seemed confused, got up and walked out without a word, not even an apology nor a conversation about what transpired throughout the morning.

Gorgeous women, don’t accept crumbs. Teach men how to treat you and when they dropped the ball, kindly and calmly educate them. If they’re not willing to learn how to be a decent human being, go on with your life enjoying every bit of it as the incredible single woman that you are. It’s up to us, to leave men better than we met them for the next wonderful woman who comes along. And, if they think they can attract a woman by being less than a communicative and respectful person, bid them adieu and find a wonderful man who treats you well.

Elizabeth TritschComment